Picture this, you’re in a bar and have your eyes set on this beautiful woman. Naturally, you wanna talk to her, ask her out on a date, or better yet, try to hook up with her. Sadly, in many cases, guys develop cold feet as soon as they plan to converse with a girl. Starting a conversation with an unknown girl has become a rather monumental task for your average joe.
But you’re not alone, there are thousands if not millions of men who refuse to chat up with a girl just because they fear rejection and embarrassment. Think about it, have you ever decided to walk away from a stranger due to a certain ‘excuse.’ Well, the majority of the time, the excuse you’re making is nothing but a different form of this rejection complexity. Truth to be told, no one wants to get rejected right? Be it a man or a woman. But that’s life.
Although you need to man up and be ready to handle rejection, there are a few things you can do to decrease the chances of rejection. And by that note, let’s begin with today’s discussion of how to start a conversation with a girl. Upon reading this article, you’ll have a dating arsenal that you can use anytime and anywhere you want, no matter the context.
How to start a conversation with a Girl: Practical Tips
Don’t use pick up lines, rather speak your mind out
This is one of the most important aspects of picking up girls from a bar or anywhere. Pick up lines are now outdated and in my opinion generic. Everyone uses them. A hot girl has probably heard the majority of these so-called ‘magic lines.’ Ask yourself this, wouldn’t she rather go out with a man who is original as opposed to those who download pick up lines into their brain from Google.
But wait, I am not asking you to completely forget the idea of pick up line, after all, they are fun when used spontaneously. But when it comes to initiating a terrific conversation, you’re better off staying off of it.
Now you must be wondering that this guy is basically telling me to forgo the only method I believe works. Well, here’s the deal partner. Times have changed. We are no longer in the early social media scene where guys used to easily impress a girl with the help of any pick-up line. It was quite an attractive trait back then. But as time started changing, females are warier of what they need and desire.
So what’s the alternative to pick-up lines? Well, you can always try talking about what’s in your mind. Like you spot her in a club or bar, take note of something which you might think might be common between you two.
Like if she is using some impeccable dance moves then you can always ask her if she takes some dancing lesson. Your ice breaker will catch her off guard and this might be the only time someone asked about her dance moves.
Talk about the event at hand
It might sound so boring and dull but bear with for a second here. Like how we just talked about not using pick up lines and instead things at hand. There are two great reasons to follow this strategy. First, you stick out from the crowd of guys who resorts to only pick-up lines. Second, you will a conversation which you can easily follow on. For example, you ask if she is from around here or just moved in.
You might be thinking that it’s easier said than done. Still, it is not as hard as it seems. All you need to focus is on having a great conversation and not taking her straight to the bed. It takes a lot of patience to woo a girl and you’ll have a better chance with starting a conversation with things at hand, as opposed to some random lines you learned for a dating e-book.
Never be afraid of rejection. No matter how handsome you are, not everyone is into you
Since your early childhood to teenage to your adult life, a lot of people have told how handsome you are. Every person you come across always complements your looks. This in turn slowly reinforced the feeling, Damn! I look good. However, in the real world, it is not necessary that everyone looks at you the same way you look at yourself, or better yet, your mother looks at you.
In this world, everyone has their own type. Some might droll over the sight of Leonardo DiCaprio while others might hate the Titanic star. What I am trying to convey here is we should remove the constricting mentality that everyone should like me.
Upon following this principle, you will primarily accomplish two things. First, no stress or anxiety over fear of rejection. Because you will have this mentality that not everyone is made for us, going up to a girl and asking her out won’t make any difference whatsoever. You live in reality and expect the unexpected.
So next time you have your eyes set up on a senorita, never back down from at least trying. Chances are, your confidence will most definitely reel her in.
Talk Slowly and Clearly
After reading the above tips, you are now all ready to chat up with the woman of your dreams. But before you go, consider this tip as well. This will definitely come in handy.
Since our early childhood, we’ve been told that a conversation should be clear and concise. Well, your middle school teacher wasn’t kidding about it.
Think about this, a new person talks to you and he’s quite hasty with his words. Surely, it won’t leave a good first impression. Likewise, you go up to a girl, in hopes of asking her out on a date, and talk quite rashly. Do you really think she’d like to go out with a guy like you? Someone who doesn’t know what he is talking about.
In order to avoid such situations, practice speaking slowly. Many times we tend to speak without thinking which often results in bad conversation. But when speaking slowly, we have more time to think. And a little time investment towards your conversation goes a long way.
Don’t get too Personal
It’s a no brainer that nobody likes to talk about their personal life with an unknown person. You have to build trust and a connection before someone would open themselves to you. These days, when guys go up to girls, they will instantly get way too personal then it is required.
For instance, as soon as they strike up a conversation, they’ll outright ask if a girl has a boyfriend or not. Although it is great to know about a person’s relationship status from the get-go, you generally don’t have to ask the question. If she has a boyfriend then no way she’ll flirt or in fact, start a conversation with a random guy.
In addition, don’t ask questions regarding her family before you go on an actual date. Restrict your initial conversation about the way she is right now in front of you. There are tons of stuff you can talk about. Like her dress or the way she dances or the way, she carries herself. Once the ice breaks, then sweep her off of her feet and buy her a drink.
make her laugh by talking about your problems in a funny way
Share a Funny Incident
We all hear about how making a woman laugh is the key to her heart. Well, it’s not just women folks as everyone loves a funny guy. So how do you become a funny guy? or strike up a fun conversation?
Aside from improving your sense of humor you need to understand one thing, comedy is never a forceful job. Anyone can see through a guy who is trying too hard. composed and calm. This way your sense of humor will fall into perfect place.
Now you must be thinking, while you are talking to an unknown girl, time is of the essence. There’s not much time to crack a joke so how do you make her laugh in such a small notice? Well, you can always share a funny anecdote from your life. This will help you in two ways, first and foremost, the girl will think of you as someone who laughs at any situation regardless of the outcome. Secondly, your conversation will start off on the right foot.