Ever wondered why girls go crazy about the Fight Club actor Brad Pitt even at 56. Well, that’s his irresistible charm. But are there any written rules on “how to be charming?” And the answer is yes. While it’s undeniable that a person is born with a natural charm, it is also an art and can also be acquired.
Well, there are several attributes to a charming personality. Along with your physical appearance, your attitude towards life as a whole, and your emotional state also determine how charming others find you.
Here is a practical observation of how a person can develop a charming personality.
Be Positive: It’s The Most Important Attribute of a Charming Personality
No matter what they say, things always start with you. And it is true even in this case. The most crucial attribute of a charming personality is that they are positive about themselves and live around.
The way you think reflects through personality and humans can sense it pretty easily. Just by having a positive perception about life, you can also have a positive effect on the people around and thus charm.
But having said that, developing that positive attitude towards life does not come in a day. It takes years and years but with constant practice, you can bring a huge change in yourself.
Here are a few things to practice to bring about positiveness in yourself:
I may sound like some sort of Indian guru but the truth is meditation helps. And the fact is now backed up by modern science as well. Meditation stimulates sections of the brain that helps fight stress, mental instability, and eventually help develop a positive change in your thought process and attitude towards life.
Read Good Books
Books are important. Good books help you view things with a different perspective which in turn broadens your mind and heart, opening it different ideologies.
Further, it also makes you a little more tolerant which helps you win the hearts of people involved.
Surround yourself with positive people
As they say “you are the sum total of 5 people around you.” And the saying is more than true. Avoid being around people who are backbiting about people all the time and complaining about life. And rather surround yourself with positive people.
Don’t Gossip About People
An American author, Leo Buscaglia rightly says,
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Be careful about the first word you utter. Your words can have the biggest impact on the person in front of you which in turn decides if you can charm him/her.
Come up with wise words every time and be genuine. Instead of bitching about someone, speak positively about them. This will instantly develop a kind of feel-good impression about them in their mind.
A Positive Body Language
93% of our communication is non-verbal, which implies that our body language matters. We give a certain impression about ourselves not only when we speak up a word but a lot before that.
It’s hard to believe but our body language does the 93% of communication. So, we have to make sure we give out a positive impression through our body language as well.
Make Eye Contact
Do you want to charm a person? Make sure you maintain a proper eye contact while you speak. Don’t divert your eyes or blink too much. But not blinking too much does not mean staring until she runs away with discomfort.
As per the study published by Miami University, a person tends to think of the fellow conversationalist for a long time when he/she communicates with direct eye contact.
Further, the reports also suggested making eye contact made people more socially savvy and empathetic, both of these qualities were concluded to charm a person.
Listen more to Charm a Person
The capability to listen with a proper concentration is a huge quality of a charming person and no one can deny the fact. There are several studies that have shown that people who are capable of charming people have this attribute to listen to what the people around them have to say.
In fact, one of the studies done by the State University of New York came to the conclusion that people who listen more tend to earn the trust of the other person quite naturally.
Vulnerability Can Be Charming
It may sound a kind of weird, but Vulnerability can be charming at times. Being mildly vulnerable has a psychological effect on people watching you. Believe it or not, vulnerability makes you humane.
In one of the studies at the University of Minnesota, Researcher Elliot Aronson also came to a similar conclusion. In the reported research, he made participants listen to tape recordings and people who made mistakes, which may be spilled coffee on themselves, were perceived to be more charming.
Also, psychology says, letting your defenses fall and admitting out vulnerability with confidence is charming.
Don’t Argue, Rather Step Back & Think on the Matter
Don’t get into arguments. It’s always better to understand a matter than getting into the arguments. Also, it is proven that people who assess a matter carefully instead of arguing leave an impression of a positive and are perceived charming.
Just imagine yourself arguing with your co-worker and you can get things into perspective. It’s always a better option to look for things common between you or the other person rather than breaking into a verbal fight.
While you may find it difficult for yourself to control your urge to disagree initially, things will get easier with practice and time.
Look For Similarity During Conversation
You tend to have an impression of a person longer, especially when you something in common with that person. Well, there is no rocket science but human psychology.
And now studies draw a similar conclusion. Well, if you want to make an impression, look for things similar to the person you want to charm; it may be your birth date, your favorite book or movies, hobby, or anything similar.